Chapter 15

HELLO! hello kitty=)) loool shyab ely yab:D

Ok whatever!-.-

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Loveyou ALL ;**
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5 months later...


I've lived 5 months of my life with pain, depression, sadness, and hatred.


It was June, our last day of school...

I was in a class focusing on my last final test, i put all my focus into this test, i really need to increase my grade up!


Our class superviser (Ms. Jackie)  wrote that we only 5 minutes left to finish the test, i was already finished and sat so excitingly 






Ms. Jackie: "Okay guys hand in your papers"



HEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAA!!!!!!!!



I gave her my paper and went out to see my friends!


Jude: "Elmt7an kan 7da sahal"
Rawan: "Eee adri"
Layan: "Uffff w akheraaan khla9na madresaaa!!!!!"
ALL: "UFFF 7DAAA!!"


I celerated my time at school with my friends, hugged them a huge hug, kissed them, and went back home...


Rawan: "Ufff akheeraan!"
Khaled: "3ad al7en maku goumat el9b7!"
Rawan: "Eeh a7la shay!!!"
Khaled: "Uff, Rawon tl3ben m3ay playstation?"
Rawan: "Maly khlg khalod bal3b laptop" Well actually i was going to enter twitter...


I sat in my room mjabla twitter, i never talked to 7mad after then, 9ager marat;p



"IT'S SUUUMMMEEERRR!!!!!!!!!!" i tweeted and 8 people retweeted it


I was bored and nothing new was in twitter, so i closed it and slept...





We were all sitting in the living chatting, my mom announced a announcement that changed my life...

Mom: "Weehh wa3laya 9bay 3umra 15 mtwafy bbanshi"
Khaled: "Shsma?"
Mom: "9ager AlX"


I froze. I couldn't even move a muscle from my body.


No! This can't be happening, this guy is not 9ager!!!!!!


He can't die and leave me alone! I love him:'(



I forced myself and stressed all my strength to move, i went to the bathroom and stated crying, i was crying real hard.

Can you imagine your life without someone who changed it? Allah la ygoula w allah ykhalelkum 7baybkum w ahalkum;*



.....: "Rawan!" i heard my dad screaming


I got up scared on my heart beating extremely fast...


Dad: "Yallah goumay yuba basich noum!"


When my dad left, and i quickly logged in to twitter via web...


Rawan AlX: 9ageeerrrrr!!!!!!!!


He took about 7 minutes to answer...


9ager AlX: 3younah


HE ANSWERED ME!!! HOW COULD HE BE DED??????



It was just a dream.





Rawan AlX: 9ager a7ibek please mabi akhsrik magdar
9ager AlX: More;* 7yati :'(


I continued chatting with 9ager just to get out of my dream, i'm not ready to lose 9ager, i've already lost my heart and i don't wanna lose my soul.

Chapter 14

Heyy guys !

Mabi asolef wayed 3shan ma a6wel 3laikum ;p

But please shtfaw elcomment box ely t7t? Please i want to see it full lo mra w7da :'(

Enjoy x
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9ager: Rawan Bagoulich shay
Rawan: Shnu?
9ager: A7ibech rawan wallah jad entay 3ajeba w allah ykhalena 7ag ba3ath ;$<3


I was shocked. Lai haldaraja y7bni? Or ga3 yg9 3lay? Klshay ybayen bl nhaya...


Rawan: 7yati ana akthar w amen ;*<3
9ager: 7yati ;* ana lma ared elnadi akalmich ok?
Rawan: Ok take care!
9ager: Inshallah

I closed 9ager's chat and switched to 7mad, the last he sent to me was: Rawon tra bnam lma ag3ad akalmich


I closed whatsapp and switched to twitter instead. I had one mention from a strange guy his account is @AbdullahAlX...

@AbdullahAlX: Rawaaan follow bk ber3a!!


Shyabi hatha?


I followed back to see what was wrong with him...

@RawanAlX: Na3am?
@AbdullahAlX: Shfech mnafsa;s?
@RawanAlX: La2ani ma a3arfik dash faj2a tgouley follow bk shtabi?
@AbdullahAlX: 9ara7a ana 9arli fatra atab3ich bdoun ma asawelich follow w 7baitch!


Shfehum elnas nzal 3laihum el7ub faj2a?;s

W shfeh hatha elthani? Mashallah mn tweetati 7abni? Sh'hal takhaluff!! ;s


@RawanAlX: Agoul 7bebi filha
@AbdullahAlX: Laish:( Mrtb6a?
@RawanAlX: Malik she'3l wai3 shal lazgaa!!
@AbdullahAlX: Khla9 asef la t3a9ben khla9 ana asef ana '3al6an m3asalama


Ksar kha6ri shway 7ram i've been harsh on him


@RawanAlX: Hey enta la tz3al ma kan '3a9di
@AbdullahAlX: Khla9 3adi
@RawanAlX: Akeeed?

He took 5 minutes to answer...

@AbdullahAlX: Ee
@RawanAlX: Laish 6awalt 3la ma trd?
@AbdullahAlX: DM zgaaan!
@RawanAlX: Loool ok:D
@AbdullahAlX: Rawan 3adi athefich whatsapp?

Mabi athefa 2 boys + boys in school kafy 3ndi bl whatsapp!

@RawanAlX: Sorry 3bdullah bas magdar
@AbdullahAlX: Laish? La tfakren '3la6 wallah bas 3shan DM khara wallah mu shay thani


I thought for a moment and then gave him my number, i started chatting with him, but i was surprised to know that he was 9ager's cousin
I was really scared to talk to 9ager when 3bdullah told me that he knew him, akeed 9ager ra7 yfham '3la6 w y3a9b. I don't want to lose him...


-


It was that night, that worst night of my entire life. I never thought this day would actually come...

It was about 11:30pm...


See my mom's policy here ena lazem enam elsa3a 9 3shan elmdrsa bas 6ab3an ana ma anam ag3ad bdari ajabel elphone;p Shnu dyaya anam mbacher?:D


I was in bed mjabla my phone talking to 7mad & 9ager, swalef 3adya ;p

I then got a whatsapp from my mom, it was a joke, but i didn't bother myself to read it...


Rawan ya '3abya quick hide your phone your mom might come to your room and see you'tre not a sleep!!!

La Rawan your mom has total trust in you she'll not come.

Hide it Rawan before you regret it


And my thoughts kept on arguing, but it was shut by a squeak sound from the door...

The door slowly kept on opening, but i couldn't quite catch who was the one opening it...




It was my mom.



The moment she made the door fully opened that was the moment that i quickly hid my phone under the pillow and pretended to be asleep. but my plan didn't work. She caught me.

My mom came closer to me and by every step she make my heart skips a beat.


Told ya!

You're in big trouble Ms. Rawan!


Mom: "La wallah w ana 3bali nayma?"

I could hear her, but i just made myself like a fool and ignored her...

Mom: "Goumay goumay adri ga3da"

I couldn't ignore much, i slowly opened my eyes and saw her standing straight staring sharply at me...

Mom: "Wain eltalfon yebeeh" she ordered


Re7na feeeeeeehhaaa!!!!


Rawan: "La la khla9 wallah anam wallah" i held my phone closely to my chest so she won't be able to grab it...
Mom: "Yebeeh" she said sharply
Rawan: "Khla9 yuma wallah a7i6a 3la elsh7an w anam wallaah!"
Mom: "Rawan yebeeh!" she repeated with a high voice


7sait enha kanat shaka bshay

I gave her my phone quietly and placed my head on the pilllow hoping she won't open my phone...


Shit! My whatsapp notifications are on!!

Shit! I do not have a password for my phone!!

Allah yr7amni...


I stayed few moments just thinking about what will happen, and hoping that my mom will not check my phone




Mom: "Ma tst7ii 3la wayhik? Ma tkhaf 3la lkhawatik? 3balik elbnat l3ba 3bdik? Khou entw yal shbab kla ga9en 3la elbnat yalla rou7 w en shftik dag 3la hal raqam aw mkalem bnti mra thanya ya wailek" I heard my screaming from her room, she was really angry

At that precise moment i wished to die, 7mad & 9ager are not those kind of people i know them well. I felt numb. I kept thinking and thinking and thinking till my head exploded...
At that awful night i cried myslef to sleep.

Could the love that i gave 7mad & 9ager go to waste? NO! I love them, they became a part of my life now i can't easily let them go!!


I woke up bl '3a9b the next morning for school, but suddenlt it all hit me, all what happened yesterday just came in to my mind.


Please God be with me, i really need you. Forgive my mistakes, please god please.


I was late for school, so i quickly dressed up and went off to school with my father and brothers...


Could my mother tell my father? But that'll be worse! But my father is totally being good to me, ya3ni mu m3a9b!


I arrived to school and made my way directly to my class, i entered and sat on my seat without giving an attention to anyone...




At break, i told Jenan and jana what happened...


Jenan&Jana: "Chathaba!" she was shcoked
Rawan: "Wallah! Ana sma3t'ha t9arekh 3la wa7d mnhum ya 7mad ya 9ager"

They didn't say a word they sure was surprised...


At English class Jude was sitting next to me, and i can't hide on her anyhting, especially her...

Rawan: "Khathaw talfoni" i said in a low voice
Jude: "Ha?" she couldn't hear me
Rawan: "Khathaw talfoni" i repeated
Jude: "Chathaba"
Rawan: "wallah" i looked at the ground


Did i do something wrong? Ok maybe i did, bas ya3ni 7ram elwa7d y7ib? Shnu mushkelat elensan etha ta3alag bshakh9 9ar ohwa kl 7yata? Tra el7ub mu 3aib. el7ub yabi shakh9 yfhamla, shakh9 y3aref yt3amal ma3ah, shakh9 ya9ber w yt7amal. Bas wain elwa7d yelga kl hal mwa9efat bshakh9 wa7d bhal wagt?


.....

Chapter 13

Sorry for the delay guys:(

I wanna share with you something i just thought of...


Every single person in this life makes mistakes, latgouleli m7ad 3nda 3youb w m7ad b7yata swa shay '3la6. Tra elkamel allah w mafe a7ad '3aira...

Enzain laish eltkabor? Tra klna makhlou8en mn nafs eltrab, w tra eltakabor w el'3rour akhrat'ha nadam...

Bullying people is never okay! They have feelings! i've known people mn kethr ma y3ayboun 3laihum elnas ma gamaw ynamoun blail mn elbachi, ta3a8edaw wallah! Stop it jadd! Shnu el wanasa bl mawthou3?!

And others who complain about how small their house is, or what kinds of food they have. Say al7mdellah, other people are dying everyday just because they don't have a slice of bread eat, or a place to sleep...

Please, be friendly and loving to everyone. (الطيبون للطيبات)


The reason that i wanted to share with you this is because i wanted you to be more aware about what's happening in life.Life is hard, don't make it harder. Believe in everything and except it.


Adri 6awalt 3laikum sorry, enjoy xx

TRA IT'S A SHORT CHAPTER!
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At school everything seemed so different, i feel comfortable with my friends more than my family.


It was 7am...

Not all the girls at my class arrived yet, there was only me, jude, and layan...

As usual Layan mn el9b7 a'3ani w me & jude ma3ndna she'3l just to play along with her...


We sat at the bench waiting for 6abour el9ba7 to begin

I saw Fay just arrived to school, she looked at me, smiled and continued her way...


Fay is a wanted kind of girl for boys, elkel ytmanaha, she's really beautiful and i love her so much, but she shocked me when she agreed to talk to jarra7. Fay 3ndaha swalef 9bayan waaaayedd!


The day went boring and i had the same exact routine.



2 months later...


It is the first day in May...


I've learned a lot in the past 2 months, and i knew someone that made me even happier, 9ager...


Flashback...


It was a friday and i was at Marina Mall with Jenan, Jana, their mom, and her friend...

I checked twitter and saw that one person followed me...
9ager AlX is now following you...

I clicked as his avatar and saw 5 guys, i wasn't pretty sure which one he is. I read his bio and he was a volleyball player in Kuwait club & Kuwait national team...

I read his tweets and kept on retweeting them, then i got a dm...


9ager AlX: Thankyou for the rt ;p!
Rawan AlX: Np;p

I was surprised to see that he was continuing the chat, i thought for a moment...


I'm not cheating on 7mad am i?

Why is he still talking to me;s?


9ager AlX: Fathya?
Rawan AlX: Shwaya;p talfoni mafi sh7an :(
9ager AlX: Shnu talfonich?
Rawan AlX: iPhone;p u?
9ager AlX: Blackberry
Rawan AlX: Mmmm...
9ager AlX: Rawan 3adi athefich whatsapp?


Should i?

But i have 7mad, i love 7mad!

Shnu b9er ya3ni it's not like i'm going to love him!!


Rawan AlX: Ok 67******

Then i got a whatsapp from him...

We continued chatting as me and Jenan were complaining about low batteries we have...

Jenan: "Cham sh7an fe talfonich?" she asked
Rawan: "20" i answered
Jenan: "M9eeba!"
Rawan: "Hh laish enty cham?" i asked
Jenan: "10!"
Rawan: "Kaaak a7san"
Jenan: "Chub"


We went out of MArina Mall and to Jenan and Jana's house.
I sat with them waiting for my mom to pick me up...

Jenan and I quickly ran upstairs to charg our phones, kan fe wayerain so kl wa7d khatha wa7d and i continued my chat with 9ager...



Back to reality...


The relationship between me and 9ager grew bigger, but that didn't change anything between me and 7mad.

Both of them are different in their good ways. I love 7mad for who he is, he has a sense of humor i didn't see in 9ager, and 9ager has jelousy i didn't see in 7mad.
But i never got upset about 9ager's jelousy, infact i liked it.


25/5 is 9ager's birthday, he's turning 15...

9ager is thin, tall, tanned, short hair, brown eyes. Mra7 achathe 3laikum simply, 9ager jaikar unllike 7mad the sexy one ;D 
But even though jaikar shnu ya3ni? It's not about the appearance it never will be, galba abyath and that's what i care about;*



9ager: Rawan bagoulich shay


To be continued...

  

Chapter 12

Heyy guys!! I really reallye missed you!! Shlounkum!?

It's chapter 12, i hope u like itt!!

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SPAM  ME  WITH  COMMENTS  AND  FEEDBACKS  PLEEEASSEE  !!!!!!!
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Our zwara was coming to an end and everybody started leaving, so we went out and off to my grandmother's house


We arrived and my cousin S3oud playing with his bb...


S3oud is 16 year old, an eleventh grader, tall w 7ail tanned, shwarba khafefa, always dreamed of being a 3askari, enshallah he will! S3oud is a totally hilarious guy, he's special.

I stepped into the living room and saw him playing with his bb, but i was surprised to see ena kan mgar3!


Rawan: "Sa3ouud yal 7ywann shmswy!!!!"
S3oud: "Shrayich bas" he winked at me7
Rawan: "Laa2! el sh3ar wain ra7"
S3oud: "Khasha t7t makhadeti, wain yrou7 y3ni ga6ouh"
Rawan: "La wai3 ma7ibekk sh3rik kan 3ajeb awal"


My mom stepped in...


Mom: "Sa3oud allah ykhesik shmswy"


S3oud got up and stammed his right foot on the ground and said "El 3askarya tabi elshj3an!" with a funny voice

They all went out leaving me and S3oud alone in the living room, i continued laughing about how stupid he was being.


Rawan: "Malal abi a6la3"
S3oud: "Goumay ana a6al3ich"
Rawan: "Wallah?"
S3oud: "Wallah goumay"
Rawan: "Omi mra7 tertha"
S3oud: "Laish ma tertha ana wyach khou goumay ana akalemha"


And he left leaving me alone in the living room waiting for him to come back...
After a long long wait he came...

Rawan: "Ha shgalat"
S3oud: "Ll2saf"
Rawan: "Khla9 3adi mra thanya" i looked at the ground

S3oud came closer and hit me from the back of my head

Rawan: "Ayy ya 7ywan y3awer"
S3oud: "Goumay yallah"
Rawan: "Wain?"
S3oud: "Ma taben t6l3en?"
Rawan: "Mu omi ma tertha?"
S3oud: "Ya 7bebti ana lma akalem a7d '3a9ben 3la obouhum yerthoun!!"
Rawan: "HEEYYAAA!! abi arou7 360 w adsh film!!"
S3oud: "Hhh enzain yallah goumay"


I quickly got up and went with S3oud and the driver to 360, it was my first time going out with S3oud.


S3oud and I booked our ticket for a film and started walking around waiting for the time to pass to enter the film...

Guys giving me looks started creeping me out!



Yakhi shyaboun hathol!!

Wai3 wai3


S3oud: "Shftehum ely twa shloun ykhzounich?" he was smiling
Rawan: "Ee" my heart started beating
S3oud: "Tra 3balhum ana 7bebich" he kept on smiling
Rawan: "Aham shay"


But the guys didn't leave, they kept on following us all the way till s3oud got fed up...

He turned back facing the guy...


S3oud: "7bebi enta ma tkhalena b7alna?"
The guy: "La2"
S3oud: "Ya 3ami twakal tra el ahal


The guy laughed. My heart was beating extremely fast! S3oud 7ail 7ail 3a9abi 3adi 7ail ydamem el wlad!


The guy: "Lahal ha? Tra 7bebi 8adema" he continued laughing

I grabbed s3oud from his arm, pulled him towards me, and forced him to look at me...


Rawan: "Maynoon?"
S3oud: .....
Rawan: "Khala ywali kharouf hatha"

S3oud laughed

Rawan: "Ee yuba eth7ak ana yaya astans mu abchi"
S3oud: "Laish tabchen?"
Rawan: "Huh? Laish abchi?"


I was confused, i didn't know what to say or what to do...

S3oud: "Rawan yanaity?" he started laughing at how somehow scared i was
Rawan: "Bas chub" i hit him playfully at the arm



We entered the film and had an amazing time! S3oud is a really a person who I had fun to be with, literally he's amazing<3


I went back home and remembered 7mad...


Shit! I haven't talked to him all day!!



I quickly entered whatsapp, 7mad's chat...

I had tons of messages from him...!


Rawan: 7mad sorry tawni ashouf talfoni knt 6al3a

He took a time to answer...

7mad: El6al3a aham mny 9a7?
Rawan: Laa! shaku wallah bas dshait film fa ma sheft my phone
7mad: Ok
Rawan: Allah ykhalek la tz3al
7mad: Mu za3lan
Rawan: Goul wallah


He didn't reply, and the last seen showed up!


Rawan: 7mad wallah ma kan 8a9di wallah ma a3edha knt dahsa film ma kan fe wakt akalmik w enta knt mahs'3oul 7mad allah ykhalek ana a7ibek mabi at'hawash m3ak plz asfa

7mad became online...

7mad: Rawon sama7tich ana asif 3a9abt 3laich .. A7ibch;;***
Rawan: ANA A7IBK AKTHARR!!!


I really meant it this time!

I spent the night talking to 7mad, i really loved him<3!


My day was made by two important and special people in life<3 They made me forget all my troubles and streesness in life. thanku a7ibkum 7ail!!


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